age is wisdom

Wow! It's been a very long time since I've written anything.  There are several contributing factors for the temporary hiatus but I believe that constant immediate change will be the winning catalyst.  Lack of motivation and inspiration follow closely behind as well.  Its been several months post graduation and it has proven to be quite a challenging interim.  I have started grad school but there still seems to be a void. It's as though I'm waiting for life to start. I'm waiting for something to drop out of the sky wrapped in a blue Tiffany & co box onto my lap. It clearly doesn't work that way. And by "it" I mean life.  Questioning everything has been a practice of mine for some time now but it has manifested itself as an insatiable hobby. Why?
Once we begin to accept things as they are our destiny almost immediately pronounces itself doomed.  Finding a middle ground, a sense of balance seems to be the remedy for almost every problem, and while Aristotle was on to something I can't help but wonder whether or not he was truly happy by abiding to this formula.  'There's time for fun and time for play..", um yeah, we've all heard that before but what does that guarantee, that we constantly abide to society's rules even though society has erred terribly in the past?
Back to the balance finding as an endeavor, that is probably at the place I seem to be residing it.  Ironically enough it's the portions of my life that have been completely off-balance, unplanned and tragically selfish is when I was deliriously happy. I'm beginning to think that this entire 'balance' rant it reserved for the scared ones.  The ones terrified of stepping out of bounds.  The ones that will be there wagging their fingers at us, with the 'i told you face'.  I enjoy my unbalanced, unpredictable life and one day it will be stable. But until that day comes, I'll be here doing whatever comes to mind.

Vani S.